FoilMan our Eco-Friendly Hero

FoilMan is an ancient seer of foil, and he is ready to ‘Heat things Up’ in the energy world. As a man of science…and metal, he cares about both the environment and energy savings.

Soon, FoilMan will be featured in a new video series that is dedicated to explaining fun and exciting information about the environment.

Click on THIS LINK in order to find out about FoilMan’s daily adventures. And “LIKE” him on Facebook to stay in the know!

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THIS IS THE ONGOING SAGA OF FOILMAN

FOILMAN (PART ONE):

FoilMan, our eco-friendly super-hero is intelligent, resourceful and resilient. He is the leader of the Energy Rebels and seeks truth through analysis and collaboration.

Horus Bettinger was the first baby born in space of astronaut parents. When he was two weeks old, the Earth was passing through the tail of the Comet Elenin. Alarms on the space station indicated structural integrity was being compromised.

The tail of Comet Elenin was draining the space station’s heat and energy by the second.

Horus’ parents kept him warm by placing him in a cradle made of Ultra-High-Technology NASA Foil. The foil kept Horus warm. The crew was able to stabilize the ship and it appeared conditions were returning to normal but an even more significant catastrophe awaited the space ship and it’s crew.

Three days prior, NASA’s Solar Dynamics Observatory detected the most powerful Coronal Mass Ejection’s ever recorded and it was heading towards the space station at high speed.

The Coronal Mass Ejection impacted the station delivering lethal amounts of radiation killing everyone aboard except baby Horus. The child survived because of the protective foil cradle his parents made for him.

The tremendous amount of ionizing radiation from the solar flare induced a protien transcription fusing the atoms of the foil used to protect the child with his DNA. His body changed shape and he was able to survive. He no longer was baby Horus anymore. He was now…FoilMan.

 

FOILMAN (PART TWO): The First Sacrifice

Being weak and young, FoilMan cried. His tears fell upon the cold deck of the space station.

Yet his cries were not in vain. The station’s Computerized Anthropomorphic Real-Time Life-form (CARL) listened to FoilMan with his sonic disturbance detectors. CARL realized the child needed help immediately. CARL sped around the station on his bulkhead-anchored monorail system. After finding FoilMan, CARL lifted him up and sang him the only song he knew…”canyon.mid” by Microsoft. Even though CARL was just a computer with basic mechanical arms, he sensed FoilMan needed nurturing. CARL became the only parent FoilMan ever knew.

Over the years, CARL taught FoilMan about mathematics, physics, and systems engineering. But unfortunately, CARL’s language processors were damaged by the Coronal Mass Ejection and so FoilMan was raised thinking that speaking about himself in third person was proper English.

On FoilMan’s eighth birthday, CARL said FoilMan was smart and strong enough to begin helping around the space station. FoilMan’s small fingers allowed him to solder damaged connections together. With his tiny body, FoilMan was able to make his way through complicated ventilation crawlways and fix the station’s atmospheric filtration systems.

These experiences with the environmental technology on the space station sparked FoilMan’s interest in conservation and sustainability. CARL noticed this, and he gave him access to the most powerful database of green information…CARL’s own digital mind.

FoilMan studied thousands of indexed articles on environmental topics with intensity and dedication. He performed his daily chores of repairs and maintenance of the station and then spent hours each day improving his knowledge. His mind expanded into areas of both man made and naturally occurring ecosystems.

On FoilMan’s 16^th birthday, CARL gave FoilMan a very special present. It was a CPU for an escape pod. The processor was badly damaged by the Coronal Mass Ejection but the basic navigational firmware was still functional. CARL had spent ten years of his background system resources repairing the processor. Just days before the boy’s birthday, all the processes initialized and were functioning without any errors.

“Wow, CARL, FoilMan truly appreciates this gift,” FoilMan said. “I can’t wait to program and run the autoexec.bat file!”

Excited and full of passion, FoilMan spent the next five years building a functioning escape-craft. He salvaged unused parts from the space station’s science stations but before he could finish the craft, he was faced with a serious problem.

“What is the problem, FoilMan?” Carl asked. “My project management program indicates you should be finished with your escape-craft by now.”

FoilMan threw his design tablet to the floor. “No matter how hard FoilMan tries, the structural integrity of the escape-pod doesn’t pass the simulation tests! There’s no way the pod will survive re-entry into Earth’s atmosphere!”

CARL put his three-fingered mechanical arm on FoilMan’s shoulder. “After detailed analysis, the data suggests that you have overlooked three metric tons of ultra-durable reinforced titanium alloy.”

FoilMan laughed. “If FoilMan knew where he could find reinforced titanium CARL…you’d be the first to know.”

CARL then took his hand and scratched his monorail. Sparks followed his fingertips.

Shaking his head, FoilMan said, “No, CARL!”

FoilMan knew that the monorail gave CARL the necessary energy to power his coolant systems. And if he was disconnected from his monorail, there would be an energy surge. The spike in heat and electricity would overload his heat-sinks, melt his CPU and effectively kill him.

CARL said, “FoilMan, my mission was to protect the Earth. You now are that mission. Through your knowledge of sustainability and environmental products, my objectives may yet be complete…but not unless you go to your true home.”

In sadness, FoilMan disassembled his only friend and completed his escape pod.

On his 21^st birthday, FoilMan painted the hull of the escape-pod with a phrase.

In memory of an old friend, may his strength guide the way to a better world.

With all systems in check and the reprogrammed CPU functioning within normal parameters…FoilMan plotted a course for the Western Hemisphere of Earth.

 

FOILMAN: (PART THREE) – The Stasis Chamber

Surrounded by emptiness, contained by the void…FoilMan drifted through endless space.

Within his humble escape-craft, FoilMan ate a handful of his Goji Berries and checked his equipment.

The computer screen displayed, “CRYOGENIC STASIS CHAMBER READY.”

Before stepping into the chamber, FoilMan stopped himself. “Wait a minute, how’s FoilMan going to be able to sleep without his protective eyewear?”

He rummaged through a storage compartment and found his lucky sunglasses.

FoilMan peeked through one eye and double checked the navigational computer. “Excellent…still on target for the Western Hemisphere of Earth.”

As the chamber sealed and the temperatures dropped, FoilMan sank into a deep sleep. His only thoughts in those last fleeting moments of consciousness were to have a positive impact on the Earth.

Little did FoilMan know…that he was going to impact the Earth in more ways than one.

<<<>>>

Meanwhile, at the Houston Space Monitoring Facility ([tentative name]) on Earth…

“Sir, we’ve detected a Luminescent Unidentified Object on a trajectory toward Southern California at high speeds.”

Director Saul grabbed the report from his subordinate. “C’mon Private, this could be anything. Besides, it’s so small it’ll probably bounce when it hits the atmosphere.”

Stepping out from the lounge, a tall man in a black suit approached the Director and Private Nickels.

Director Saul turned and asked, “Agent Torque, what are you still doing here? Shouldn’t you be heading back to Washington to cannibalize more of our measly working budget by now?”

“That’s cute, Director,” Agent Torque said. “I’d put that in my report, but I can’t find my pen. Oh look!”

Agent Torque reached into Director Saul’s front pocket and stole one of his pens. “A 2011 Commemorative Shuttle Launch pen. I always wanted one of these. I’ll make sure to use it when I sign the docs for my assessment of this place…starting with your performance.”

“Keep it.” Director Saul said. “I’m planning on having a 2013 pen after we get this space program back on its feet.”

Agent Torque smiled. “Touching sentiment, thank you, but before I go…I heard something about an Unidentified Luminescent?”

“How could you hear that from across room?” Private Nickels asked.

Director Saul jabbed Nickels in the side and then shook his head sternly.

“Right, sorry,” Private Nickels continued, “the object is coming towards the Earth at a high velocity. We’re not sure what it is.”

“Where did it come from?” Agent Torque asked.

“As of this time, we believe it came from the vicinity of our old Solar Observatory project site…but we’re not sure with this little data.”

Agent Torque pulled out his cellphone with one hand and pointed at Director Saul with the other. “You should have told me about this immediately.”

Director Saul shrugged. “Who’re you calling?”

“Langley!” Agent Torque put a hand over the receiver. “I’m calling my superiors. I’m recommending that we blast this UFO out of the sky!”

 

FOILMAN: (PART FOUR) – The Tesla Cannon

“Wait a minute, Agent Torque!” Director Saul said.

“You can’t just fire a Tesla Cannon into space at anything you choose.”

Agent Torque put his cell phone into his jacket breast pocket. “You’re right, Director. I’ll need the proper trajectory algorithms to get a direct hit on the UFO.” He grabbed Private Nickels. “That’s why I’m taking your assistant with me to Langley.”

“Hold it right there,” Director Saul said. “Private Nickels is an important member of my team. Where he goes…I go.”

Private Nickels held his stomach. “Aww man! We’re taking a road trip? I haven’t even had lunch yet.”

Director Saul pushed Private Nickels toward the lounge. “Grab the Almond Butter and some Superfruit Jelly. We’ll make sandwiches while we’re flying.”

Agent Torque folded his arms. “Who’s going to bring the laptop?”

“It’s called, Portable Command Console,” Director Saul said, “and I’ll go get it and meet you two at the airfield.”

Saul rushed into his office and found the Portable Command Console on his desk. But he didn’t stop there. He rustled and rummaged through desk drawers until he found a USB extension cord inside a black and white checkered box.

A note inside the box read, “OBJECTIVE 17.”

“Never thought I’d ever use this,” Saul said as he connected the USB extension cable to his mouse. He stuffed them along with the Command Console into a Hemp/Tencel fabric briefcase.

<<<>>>

Meanwhile, within his tiny escape craft, FoilMan drifted through space.

FoilMan had pleasant dreams in his Cryogenic Stasis Chamber. He imagined himself being greeted by the President of the United States. Of course, in his dream, he visualized that the President was Bob Dole. That was because Bob Dole was the only presidential candidate to refer to himself in the 3^rd person…

“Bob Dole thinks that you, FoilMan got the right stuff!”

FoilMan shakes President Dole’s hand. “Thank you, Mr. President, FoilMan is proud to be here.”

With a concerned look on his face, President Dole says, “No, FoilMan, I meant your Goji Berries. These things are delicious with roasted almonds.”

“Oh! I couldn’t agree more. Have you ever tried Goji Berries as part of a trail mix snack bag? When I used to do repair work, I would keep a little bag on me to stay sharp.”

President Dole’s face turns purple, and his eyes begin flashing bright beams of light. “It’s good to stay sharp FoilMan. That’s because there’s a dangerous projectile approaching.”

“Projectile…” FoilMan looks around the White House lawn. Trees are melting before his very eyes. The white columns that support the proud building transform into silver and gray titanium beams.

Before FoilMan can take in anymore of his surroundings, President Dole grips FoilMan’s hand tightly. Then the pencil that was in the President’s other hand morphs into a syringe.

President Dole says in a digital computer voice, “CRYOGENIC EMERGENCY PROCEDURES IN EFFECT.”

<<<>>>

With a deep gasp for air FoilMan was awoken. His bones were aching and his muscles twitched. “Diagnostic…Perimeter Report!”

FoilMan yanked the syringe from his chest and blood spurted on the ship’s navigational systems.

The monitor displayed an incoming projectile approaching FoilMan’s escape craft.

“97 seconds till impact. Think FoilMan, THINK!”

FoilMan activated the ship’s simulation computer. “Computer, can we change course or speed up fast enough to evade the projectile?”

“Negative, FoilMan,” the computer said, “the Ion-Drive propulsion system lacks enough burst thrust to avoid the projectile.”

“What! Lemme see those numbers.”

Trying to get a better look at the information on the screen, FoilMan wiped away some blood with his sleeve. He glanced at his stained Tencel shirt and then again at the fuel reserves control system. “That’s it!”

The ship’s computer announced, “FIFTEEN SECONDS TILL IMPACT.”

FoilMan slammed the emergency override button. “Eject all the remaining fuel out the starboard disposal ducts, password: organic1.”

The escape craft moved horizontally to the left due to the force of the ejected fuel. But it was too late. The projectile still hit FoilMan’s ship, tearing a gaping hole in the hull.

Knocked off-course and losing life support…FoilMan’s ship plummeted toward the Pacific Ocean.

Will FoilMan survive? Stay tuned next time for the ongoing saga of…FoilMan.

…to be continued…